Resolution

Let's start out with a simple statement. Staff is aware that not everyone will OOCly like everyone else. However, the admins do require that if there are OOC conflicts, that people a: do not drag it into IC, and b: follow the guidelines below to handle the situation.

The first thing to do, if you find you're in OOC conflict with someone (NOTE: this is not /IC/ conflict), is to try and have a calm talk with them. Point out the stuff that upset you and if you feel comfortable with it, why it upset you. Do this in a calm and polite fashion. Don't approach it as 'you did this, this, and /that/ wrong, and what you said over there was also wrong'. Approach it as 'what you said/did here upset me, and I'm not sure you're aware that it was upsetting'. In many cases, it may simply be a misunderstanding, where the other person didn't get that what they were saying or doing was upsetting or causing conflict.

On the other hand, if someone approaches you with an issue as to your words or actions, cooperate with them. You too may have done something that made someone else upset and aren't aware of it. And, once knowing that what was said or done was upsetting, do your best to try and avoid that in the future.

However, that's the best-case scenario. If you're in one of these discussions, either about your actions or about someone else's, and you find you're getting angry, take the time to calm down. Tell the person you'll be right back and step away from the computer and chill for a bit. Pet your cat or smile at your kid… do something to give yourself a little distance from the heated conversation.

What you should /not/ do is vent about the situation to other people. Try and calm down some other way. If you need to vent, try a word processor document instead. Write down all the stuff you want to say there, instead of to the person you're talking to, because when people get angry, they tend to say stuff they regret later.

If, in the extreme case that you're not able to resolve the situation with the other person, or if you feel harassed or feel uncomfortable talking to them directly, then it's a good idea to bring it to the attention of staff.

Players may help try and resolve situations before they're brought to staff, but if a player is requested to mediate a dispute, he or she has to approach it like a judge would RL, giving both sides time to present their cases and listening with an open mind before remarking on things.

When discussing the situation, it's best to describe things in terms of how it made you feel, not make accusations. Having logs of the incident(s) in question are good, to help avoid any accusations of log-tampering or the accidental misquoting of something that was said or done.

If all else fails, the matter can still be forwarded to staff for resolution.

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